Usernameka's Blog

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Porn June 24, 2014

Here people are ugly, ugly in their needs. Disgust is some mud settled in my stomach. I cannot take any more of them. Their thoughts are chasing through hallways and I am occupied and imprisoned by them.

Not rational creatures waiting to ambush and shit over you. They trash around their shit all over, shaking their petty ambitious miserable souls, without kindness and without any peace of humanity for satisfying their needs.

Porn situation. Everything is porn. Trading yourself, searching for the market you trade your loneliness and you are exchanging with no expectations for future. You search for that feeling of being safe. And you are never safe. You change the volume you cannot shut that music you are addicted. You lie down and brake and brake when you hear that baby cry when they take her away from her mother’s belly, just born. You feel you have to trade. You have to search for that dry place or you will drown.

I cannot spit out emptiness. Emptiness is inside out occupying, occupying white walls of that cell in which you are grounded. You cannot spit it. You vomit emptiness and acid and disgust of your emotional vulnerability laying on that floor without words without words to express your shredded insideness.

 

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