One of the main surviving principles on the Balkan is screw the system. This principle is very important to learn very early since the system is so screwed up that if you do not learn how to screw this screwed up system you can easily end up short handed and without anything.
Be sure that in any moment it might happen to you that the system does not take care of you, not even your basic needs. You can very easily die in a hospital because you were not loud and annoying enough, nurses might as well not come to check your status, of course because they are overloaded by so many patients in overcrowded hospitals, and you might die just because delivery of the blood reserves is not going to be happening that day, or because reanimation machine is not working properly. So, to get a proper medical care, you really have to put some effort and screw the system by giving something extra to get the attention of the medical stuff. It is not necessarily the fact that they are corrupted, but just to be sure they pay some attention, you would just try to screw the system. That’s when you want to be sure you will at least get what should belong to you.
Then, you also want to screw the system to give more then what belongs to you, I will elaborate on this. Justification can play important role here. You might realize that its possible to get things for free if you have some kind of a cover up, justification. If it is a business lunch you do not need to pay it from your own pocket. And even if you have enough in your pocket, why the hell would you spend that money, that anyway you are not sure you would be able to get in this system again without applying some screwing up effort.
On the job , public one , for example, if you can use all kinds of bonuses if you just make an official decision for them to be assigned to you. Why the hell you would not do that when, anyway, nobody can tell you not to, and when, anyway, nobody really bothers to actually work some extra hours for example and deserve them, you know that you cannot find anybody in the office after 2-3pm. Not to mention that the idea to redistribute money is out of the question. God knows if with this screw the system maxim:you cannot pay me so little, as much as i can put little work in it, tomorrow your job would still hold.
It is not right to presuppose that working people are lazy, especially public workers. They are not. When they go to other countries to work, they work, but here, they know the rule of screw the system and they know their work is not really valued, and they are overburdened by work, there is no way they can do it all. Effort is anyway not valued, what is valued is how good are you in screwing the system, whom do you know, and what they can do for you to put the smallest effort to get as much as possible. And they know that the more you have, the more influential people you know, the more resources you have to screw the system and other people, them included. So, I think, from their side, it comes only logical to try to screw the system, and other people, as much as possible, just not to be totally screwed up by these bigger screwers.
To sum up, all in all, the name of the game is – screw the system, get entitlements without commitments. Your credentials, knowledge, expertise, anything that can add any value to the thing you do is actually not really of value. The only thing which will get you any value and respect is not this, it is either brute force, or ability to “do schemes” with people. To know how the system works and how to screw the system with a help of your community of screwers. It’s in general the ethics of a mafia.
And its not necessarily that you want to be in mafia, no, you might want to be an ordinary member of an ordinary decent system, but simply there is no such system. The system is – screw or be screwed. So, you might even want to pay the bloody public transportation, even though you think it should be free, but when you know that privatization is criminal, which was never really investigated, that now money is going to a criminal private hands while infrastructure is public, and that you can be legally harassed by some very unfortunate people who were desperate enough to apply to work for the job of the public dogs, that is conductors, or communal police officers who in addition got weapons and the right to beat and arrested you for not paying it, you really might start thinking how to resist, and even if you can, not to pay the ticket and avoid being fined or arrested.
Or you might just not have any ideological reasons, but you just do not want to pay anything, if you are not forced to, since, its all chance you should not be paying it and others try to screw you. And that’s actually normal in a system in which screw or be screwed is the main surviving principle from the top to the bottom. It would be really strange to expect that there would be any kind of other social agreement on which it would be possible to rely on. Everybody knows this, politicians especially. But they want to screw the most, so of course they would need more police officers and more brute power to make anyone do anything that’s not screwing the system. Not to save the system from being screwed, but just to prove they are the ones who can have the final screw of the system and the people.Anyhow, my point is that in this system screwing up people is normal.
What is the most scary for me is that its normal in personal relations and in private life. Parents can screw kids, kids parents, kids kids, relatives and also friends, partners screw each other big time. So you can get what ever combination you can imagine. For example, you can get your friends to provide to you with their time, space, information, knowledge, work, ideas, money, accommodation, food, cloths, emotions, affection, sex, favors, what ever. For any of the things you might need, what ever would make your life little bit more comfortable, you can screw them. If it is just to walk you to your house, you might promise them something and then after they go with you in front of your door you might say, oh, sorry , I forgot….And like there is no other way. And next time they would try to do it with you.
Now, of course they can argue with you, they can say you promised something to them. This is not comfortable, makes your cost- benefit analysis wrong. So you cannot afford that. With time you get sophisticated, so you learn justifications, how to make them think it was actually their blame if they feel screwed, or they screwed you first. Or, if you are smarter, you learn how to make them think it would be right thing to do, It would be fair thing to do, that you are entitled, so they are suppose to do that, even to feel proud you let them do that for you.
Of course, this is very brutal sketch, but in general that’s how it works. So, friends would start doing things for you if you are skillful in this game of screwing, better say hassling, the system and your friends included. And they would think that’s friendship, even you might think it is. But it could not be, could it. Pimps hassle. The point is you learn then to cover it up with a promise of reciprocity.
And they might think reciprocity will come, you are very, very skillful when you leave them with this impression, without actually ever promising anything! You are like black belt if you manage to get from people emotional contents and finally when they open up completely, when you make them treat you as they would their partner, or very close family and start sacrificing their scarce resources with you, when they start making special place for you what ever they do, and no matter how much that would cost them in time, money, in physical or emotional price, it does not matter, simply when you bring them to the point that for you and your needs they cannot put a price that they would not pay. Then you can have the complete sense of entitlement of a true master screwer. Then you know, your name is the Lord of the screwing up of the system. Then you are safe. Then you are like in your mothers womb, safe and protected and loved unconditionally. The whole system is just your mother , you screwed the system to give you willingly its tit to suck it, to suck it until there is no more to suck.
And since you actually cannot do this with the system, you do it with your friends, you do this with people close to you, you learn to do it for prevention. You learn how actually its important never to open up, how to save yourself from this screwing up that you apply on people, you learn how never to expose your emotions as they can be these weak spots to be hooked, you never truly believe anybody. You never truly believe anybody can be without screwing up agendas, you never believe anyone can be willing to walk you to your doors, without the need to be tricked and hooked up. You simply never believe there is anything good in you for others to just be there. Nobody would be there if you would stop hassling.
And at the end, when people do realize what you are doing, they tend to actually do what you always thought they would, they get resentful and they go away. Not because they thought there is nothing valuable in you, but because you took away your value by screwing with them. And then you find another people to screw with, but eventually you would end up alone, hating yourself, angry at the whole world, or even worse, hooked up youself, forcibly committed, like a junky, on some people, for resources, since you never wanted to really work for them in relations with other people, to which you never wanted to commit, and trust them, I guess under impression you are not able to, that you cannot afford it.
Possible its like this on some other places, but for sure I know the Balkan is one of these fuckin horrible places where people think its a success to can have gigantic entitlements, without any fuckn commitments, and where people end up being screwed, one way or another as a good practice.